


Trump Card

by Royal_Prussian_Fox



Series: Round [1]
Category: Pocket Monsters SPECIAL | Pokemon Adventures
Genre: Canon Compliant, Gen, Spellcheck hates Sapphire's dialogue, i think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 03:01:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12026718
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Royal_Prussian_Fox/pseuds/Royal_Prussian_Fox
Summary: Blue's gorgeous and has a killer fashion sense. Red's pretty cool too, even if Ruby will never understand his love for battling. And the other Dex Holders are good in their own ways. So why is Ruby stuck with Gold as his self-declared senpai?





	Trump Card

**Author's Note:**

> Set about six months after the Emerald chapter — there aren't major spoilers for anything up to that point, but fair warning, anyway. I did my best to be canon-compliant, but I haven't read the HGSS or ORAS chapters, so if anything in there contradicts this, well. Uh. *sweats*
> 
> Comments always appreciated.

Ruby should have known it was a trap.

Crys' suggestion of going sightseeing seemed safe enough at first. With their companions from Johto arriving in Slateport City on a Hoenn vacation, it only made sense for all six of them to enjoy everything Hoenn had to offer; even Ruby and Sapphire could agree on that.

Leave it to Sapphire to insist on that place being Meteor Falls.

"Gross," Ruby immediately says.

Sapphire ignores him. "It's real purdy this time ah year, ‘n dere's ah buncha Pokémon ya can't see in Johto!"

"Yes," Ruby agrees. "It's the perfect place for breathing ash and having Zubat fly into your face."

"Oh yeah? Why dontcha pick somethin' better, bub?"

"Even Mauville City would be better. Literally anything would be an improvement on a bunch of rocks."

"Dey're not jest rocks! Dey're space rocks!"

"My point stands."

"Now, now," Crys says, ever the voice of calm. "We don't have to all go together. We can have two groups, one for Meteor Falls, and one for Mauville City."

"Well, I ain't goin' ta Mauville. I shure dun' wanna go along wit’ ya when ya go clothes shoppin' or whatevah yer doin'."

"I wouldn't want you going shopping with me, either," Ruby replies. "You'd probably get me kicked out of the store."

"What do you want to do, Crystal?" Emerald asks, tugging at Crys' sleeve.

Crys fiddles with her star earrings with a shy smile. "I've never seen a meteorite in person…" she confesses.

Sapphire gleefully leaps into the air. "Yer gunna lovit! C'mon, we hafta git a move on if we wanna git dere and back!" she announces, as though wandering in a cave for hours on end is the most enjoyable experience she can imagine. Ruby can think of dozens of things more enjoyable than that, not least of which will be procuring new clothes for his Pokémon — without the wild riffraff.

"What about everybody else?" Crys asks.

"Eh, I think I'll pass," Gold says. "Mauville sounds like a better time to me."

Ruby's heart sinks into his stomach. He's heard unsavory stories about Gold (usually involving gambling — _lots_ of gambling) and Ruby's not about to subject himself to whatever mayhem Gold has up his sleeve. "You're… You're not _actually_ interested in going to Mauville, are you?" Ruby asks, praying that the answer is no.

"What can I say? I guess I'm more of a city boy at heart. Besides," Gold shrugs, "no offense, Super Serious Gal, but you're kinda boring."

"None taken," Crys says, flat.

"B-but you're really missing out!" Ruby says, searching frantically for a way to wave Gold off. "Listen to what Sapphire said — Meteor Falls is, um, beautiful! And, uh, the Pokémon!"

"Weren'tcha jest sayin' how awful Meteor Falls was?" Sapphire frowns skeptically.

"Well, yes, but — you see, Mauville City isn't anything special, either —"

"Then why'd ya offer?"

"Er, I…" Ruby stammers.

Emerald interrupts. "Will you two quit it with your bickering? Let's just go, already!"

"You betcha!" Sapphire agrees, and with a deft hand, releases Troppy from his Poké Ball. She clambers onto his back with simian agility; Crys jumps on after her. "Everybody goin' ta Meteor Falls, train's leavin' da station! Hop on, or yer gunna be left behind, ‘n dere ain't no refunds!"

Ruby jerks his head to the remaining trainers. To his dismay, Emerald's already reaching up for Crys to lift him onto Troppy. "Wait, Emerald —"

Emerald turns. "You thought I was going to Mauville? No way. I see it all the time. I'm going with Crystal," he announces, just as Crys pulls him up after her.

Ruby turns pleading eyes on Silver. "Save me," he mouths.

"No," Silver mouths back.

And that was how, after Troppy vanished into the horizon, Ruby was left alone with Gold — who was, quite frankly, a menace to all civilized life. Not to mention garishly dressed.

"So, what first, Fashionable Lad? Are we gonna hit the slots, or what?"

In Ruby's defense, spelunking through the dirt and grime of Meteor Falls sounded distinctly unappealing.

"I was actually thinking of buying some clothes for Nana," Ruby weakly protests.

"But I heard there's a game corner and everything! If we're going to Mauville, we hafta stop by!"

"Aren't we young to be gambling…?"

"You're never too young to have a good time. You can't tell me you've never played before!"

Ruby fidgets.

Gold's mouth drops open. "Wait, wait, wait! You mean you've never played pool?" he squawks. "No slot machines? Not even pachinko?"

"I don't have time to waste on inelegant hobbies like that."

"Of course you do! There's nothing like wasting time at a game corner!"

"Are you even listening to yourself?" Ruby mumbles.

"Well, now I know what we have to do," Gold declares sagely. "We're going straight to the game corner. After all, it's my duty to educate you about the world."

"…Your duty?" Ruby repeats, dully. He doesn't think he likes where this conversation is headed.

"My duty as your senpai!"

"…My senpai," Ruby intones. He definitely doesn't like where this conversation is headed.

"Yep! Red-Senpai's my senpai, and that makes me your senpai! You and the rest of you Hoenn kids!"

"Just how does that make you my senpai?"

"Well," Gold says, counting off on his fingers. "I'm older, more experienced, and better at battling."

Ruby crosses his arms. "So?"

"Not to mention way better-looking."

" _Excuse me_?" Ruby scoffs. He roams a critical eye over Gold. "In those clothes? They look like they're from the bargain bin."

"What are you talking about? These are totally fashionable! They must be, 'cuz I'm wearing 'em."

"You look like a Pikachu drowned in ketchup."

"Says the guy with the white hair."

"My hair isn't white. This is a _knit cap_ ," Ruby hisses. "Why does everyone say that?"

"Dunno, probably 'cuz it looks like white hair," Gold interjects.

"And if you can't tell that, you have no business lecturing me on fashion," Ruby huffs, and turns on his heel to leave Gold and his ketchup-and-mustard clothes behind. Even if he can't make it to Mauville like he planned, the Slateport Market should be good enough for now. There are Pokémon dolls on sale, and he'd be a fool to not even look.

Suddenly, Ruby feels something prod the back of his head, and then a breeze ruffle his hair. He automatically raises a hand to readjust his hat. His hand feels hair instead of cloth. Ruby frantically presses both hands to the top of his head. His hat is gone.

"My hat!" Ruby shrieks, and whirls around, eyes darting to and fro until they find the culprit: Gold, who's snagged Ruby's hat with his ridiculous billiard cue and is now gazing at it in wonderment.

"It _is_ a hat," Gold observes.

"I told you it was, didn't I?" Ruby shrills. He leaps up to retrieve it, but Gold raises his billiard cue at the last second so it's out of Ruby's reach. Ruby tries again. Gold lifts it farther, and now it's more than a yard beyond Ruby's highest jump. Ruby glares up at it.

"Are you satisfied?" Ruby clucks. "Now give it back."

"Not until — whoa," Gold cuts himself off. "Where'd you get that scar?"

Ruby feels his face go white. "It's none of your business," Ruby snaps. He musses his hair, trying to cover it, even though he's tried before and knows it's doomed to failure. He settles for pretending to scratch his head with his hand, conveniently covering the scar up in the process, and looks away, so Gold can't see the right side of his face. "Just. Give it back, okay.”

"All right," Gold says.

Ruby holds out his hand.

"But not until we have a Pokémon battle!"

"What? Why?"

"To figure out what we'll do in Mauville! I win, and we'll go to the game corner. You win, and we'll do whatever you want, instead. Sound fair?"

Ruby groans. "Can't we just flip a coin?"

"Where's the fun in that, Fashionable Lad?"

"My god. You're just as barbaric as she is.”

"Tell you what," Gold says, and a Typhlosion appears in a burst of light, snorting and pacing on the ground. "We'll make it a quick one-on-one. Me and Exbo versus Fashionable Lad and whatever Pokémon you want."

"Tell you what," Ruby answers. "How about we skip the battle and go shopping in Mauville. And you give me back my hat."

"Nope," Gold says. "Not until we have a battle."

"You're holding my hat hostage?"

"Not hostage!" Gold protests. "More like… target practice," he decides.

"Target practice?" Ruby parrots.

"Exbo's gotta practice on _something_ ," Gold explains with a nonchalant wave of his hand. "Otherwise, he gets rusty at aiming, and last time that happened, Super Serious Gal got super pissed."

Ruby swivels his head toward Exbo. Exbo growls. A jet of flame spurts from his back. Ruby looks back and forth, from his hat to Exbo, Exbo to his hat. His eyes go wide.

"You wouldn't," Ruby utters, horrified.

Gold flashes a grin, full of teeth and mayhem, that clearly screams, "Yes, I would." Because Gold is exactly the type of ruffian who thinks committing acts of petty arson is fun.

"If you singe even a single thread, I swear…"

"Huh? Which part is that?"

"All of it!"

Gold's face lights up. "You want Exbo to fry all of it? Okay!"

Ruby snaps. "That's _it_ ," he declares, and grabs Zuzu's Poké Ball. He fixes Gold with his battle glare. "My hat is an essential component of my wardrobe, and I won't have you charring it like some low-quality roast. I'm taking it back, and then I'm buying Zuzu new clothes as a present for winning!"

"Now we're talking!" Gold smirks. "Let's get this show on the road!"

Ruby smirks back. "You don't know what you're getting yourself into. Let's show them how tough we are, Zuzu!"

* * *

"I've been had," Ruby grumbles into the ground.

"What's that, Fashionable Lad? I can't hear you!"

"I didn't say anything," Ruby grits out.

"I'm sorry, that didn't sound quite right!" Gold says cheekily, sauntering in front of him.

"Argggggg," Ruby groans. He takes a deep breath. "I mean. I didn't say anything… Gold- _Senpai_."

"That's more like it!"

Ruby inwardly screams.

Turns out, Gold knew exactly what he was getting himself into. Ruby's no greenhorn trainer — he knew that relying on Zuzu's type advantage alone would be presumptuous. But he did think it would give him _some_ advantage. That thought lasted up until Exbo used nothing but hot air and stray leaves to slam Zuzu with an improvised Razor Leaf. Ruby had barely a second to process _what_ , exactly, had just happened, before Zuzu collapsed and Gold swaggered over and started tugging him by the collar toward Mauville City.

Ruby forced Gold to drag him for the first few minutes. Then he realized that the grass stains would be an absolute disaster to remove, so he grudgingly decided to give Gold a break. For now.

Ruby readjusts his cap. At least Gold gave him his hat back, undamaged except for its honor.

"Why the long face, Fashionable Lad? We're here!"

Ruby looks up, and sure enough, they've found their way to Mauville City's game corner. Ruby wrinkles his nose. The building's an outdated combination of stucco and wood paneling, colored with a horribly clashing medley of purple and pine green paint. There are no windows to be found. A ghastly array of blinking lights has been embedded above the entryway, as well as along the roof and corners of the boxy structure, where they pulse like strobes. A loud orange cloth dangles from the front arch, marking the entrance to the building. It's as though the designer funneled all effort into the single purpose of being as ostentatiously visible as possible. It is, Ruby realizes to his increasing dismay, perfectly fitting for Gold.

Gold spots the look on Ruby's face. "I know," he grins. "It's amazing, right?"

"It's hideous," Ruby says. "You don't expect me to set foot inside this… this… monstrosity?"

"What? It's not gonna rub off on your clothes."

"It might," Ruby sniffs.

"Come on, Fashionable Lad! Listen to your senpai! In we go!" Gold declares. He marches inside the front door, dragging Ruby in behind him.

As it happens, the interior is just as gauche as the exterior. The owner should have fired whoever painted the slot machines lavender — it clashes with the flashing lights, which themselves are crimes against humanity. The carpet purports to be red, but with all the dirt tracked onto it, it's closer to a stained maroon. The stench of tobacco smoke lingers in the air. Ruby can't see anyone smoking, but with the poor artificial lighting, he can hardly see anything that's not physically attached to gaudy lights.

"Has anyone here heard of natural light?" Ruby complains.

"Sure they have!" Gold answers.

"Then they should use it. These light fixtures are an abomination."

"Didn't you know, Fashionable Lad? If you can’t see the sun, you don't realize how long you've spent here. Owner makes a lot more money that way!"

That… actually sounds plausible. Ruby wonders if Gold's knowledge is reserved exclusively for gambling.

"Excuse me, miss!" Gold announces, and with a start, Ruby realizes they're standing in front of the cashier's counter.

"Wait! Gold!" Ruby hisses.

The woman behind the counter turns around, and eyes the pair of them with barely veiled surprise. Gold slaps a stack of Poké Dollars down onto the glass. "Could I get 250 game coins, please? For me and for my kohai!" Gold draws out the last word and looks meaningfully at Ruby. Ruby mutters under his breath.

The woman frowns and looks from Gold to Ruby disapprovingly. "I don't think so," she says. "You're clearly not old enough to be here. Please leave or I'll have you escorted out."

Gold looks shocked. "Not old enough? You have age limits here in Hoenn?"

"That's what I was trying to tell you," Ruby whispers to him.

"I might have heard you if you called me senpai,” Gold whispers back.

"Guess what. They have age limits. Gold- _Senpai_ ," Ruby grits out.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, Fashionable Lad?" Gold asks, the very picture of innocence, if innocence never brushed its hair and wore two-thirds of a stoplight as clothing. Gold turns to the woman behind the counter. "So what's the age limit?"

"We require all participants to be a minimum of sixteen years old," she informs him.

Gold's face brightens. "Why didn't you say so? I'm sixteen!"

Ruby whirls his head toward Gold so fast he's surprised it doesn't pop off. Gold's not even two years older than Ruby, and Ruby's barely twelve. Gold is definitely not sixteen.

"You're definitely not sixteen," the woman objects.

"Sure I am! Here, let me show you," Gold insists. He fishes an identification card out of his pocket and snaps it down on the counter. Ruby can easily see it from where he's standing, so he can easily see that it overstates Gold's actual age by two years. The woman glares at it. She glares at Gold. She glares at the card.

"Look, you can hold it up to the light or scratch it with a coin all you want, but it's not gonna change," Gold tells her.

"Even if that card is accurate — and I'm not saying it is — what about your friend here?" She turns her glare on Ruby. Ruby wilts. "He's clearly younger than you, and you're barely legal."

Gold swoops over and claps a hand on Ruby's shoulder. "I'm treating him today! He's wanted to visit a game corner for the longest time, so I'm taking him as a present. That's what good senpai do!" Gold declares.

Ruby doesn't think good senpai take other people gambling. Illegally.

"He's still underage," the woman points out.

"Come on, you won't make an exception for him?"

"We won't make an exception for him."

Gold manages to look incredibly put-out on Ruby's behalf.

Ruby maneuvers Gold's hand off his shoulder. "That's too bad," Ruby says, not feeling bad at all. "I guess we have no other choice but to go shopping instead."

"But Fashionable Lad! You can't just give up like that."

"The rules are the rules, aren't they?"

Gold looks at him forlornly. "I guess so," he sighs, and Ruby thinks he sees a light at the end of the tunnel.

"Man, it's such a shame," Gold complains. "I'd hate to be these guys when they hear from your father."

Ruby blanches. The light's not the end of the tunnel. It's an oncoming train.

"And he was so eager to see you finally get the chance to visit this place!" There's a gleam in Gold's eye that Ruby despairingly has come to recognize as a blaring red warning siren.

"His father's the gym leader of Petalburg City, you know," Gold says casually to the woman behind the counter. "He's always so busy that he never gets a chance to bring his son over here. That's why he was so happy when I offered to take Ruby for him! I can't imagine how pissed he'll be when he finds out his son's been turned away."

Ruby agrees that his father will be pissed. Just not for the reasons Gold is articulating.

The woman's eyebrows shoot up. "Your father's the gym leader of Petalburg City?" she asks. She looks at Ruby expectantly. So does Gold.

"Well, that's true," Ruby concedes.

"He's got a real temper, too. I heard he's crushed telephones with his bare hands," Gold adds, for good measure.

"He… what?" the woman asks, shocked.

"But I get it. You have to do your job and everything, even if you have to tell a gym leader's son he can't go to a game corner with his friend." Gold turns to Ruby, shrugging. "We better start heading back, then. It's a long ways, and we —"

"Er, Gold? And, uh, Ruby, was it?" the woman interrupts. "I think we _might_ be able to accommodate the two of you."

"No!" Ruby objects. "I mean, thank you, miss, but —"

"Really?" Gold grins. "Wow, thanks! You hear that, Fashionable Lad?"

"I heard," Ruby groans. Gold nudges him with his elbow. Ruby tacks on the obligatory "Gold-Senpai."

The woman takes Gold's stack of bills and exchanges them for a pile of gold tokens. Gold wastes no time in sliding them into a nearby tray. "Thanks a whole bunch, miss! You know, the moment we started talking, I knew you were gonna help us out!"

"Liar," Ruby grumbles under his breath.

"That's that, then!" Gold announces and grips Ruby by the wrist. Ruby resigns himself to what will surely be a trainwreck. "Come on, Fashionable Lad! Fun awaits!"

* * *

Fun, as defined by Gold, turns out to be roulette.

The Taillow flapping above the roulette wheel chirps and drops the silver ball. It bounces, once, and Ruby's eyes follow it as it dances around the wheel's rim. So do the eyes of the other half-dozen people sitting at the table. Ruby watches it flick between each of the slots. The ball rolls past the maize yellow spot marked Makuhita, past seafoam green Wynaut, past lilac purple Azurill, past maize Skitty, past seafoam Makuhita, and slowly clatters to a stop in…

Seafoam Skitty.

A chorus of grumbling rises from the table. Ruby nearly finds himself joining in. Judging by the frowns and griping from nearly everybody else, Ruby's not alone. Except —

"Ehehehe, looks like I won again. Guess someone's smiling on me from up above, huh?" Gold slides an armful of tokens toward him, adding to a pile so large it could have been a dragon's hoard. Togebo, sitting on Gold's lap, smirks and waves a gleaming token back and forth. Ruby doesn't think exposing a baby Pokémon to gambling is good caretaking. Then again, it's not like Ruby has room to complain, since he's gambling illegally, too. Glass houses, and all that.

He hadn’t even wanted to play in the first place. But then Gold shoved a bunch of tokens toward him, and insisted Ruby at least try the roulette. And since it was Gold's money anyway, who was Ruby to deny him? Besides, the sooner they lost all their tokens, the sooner Ruby could flee this smoke-and-strobe-infested place, and perhaps even have enough time left to look at Pokémon clothes.

Unfortunately, Gold hadn't gotten the memo.

"What's wrong, Fashionable Lad?" Gold asks, cocky grin reflecting off the mountains of tokens piled in front of him. "Jealous?"

"Jealous? No. I didn't even want to play roulette," Ruby responds. The fact that Ruby can count his own tokens on two hands has absolutely nothing to do with it.

"Oh, so you're a slots kinda guy, then?"

"With those garish lights? Ew, no," Ruby grimaces. "I'm surprised you didn't go straight for them. They're flashy and ostentatious. They'd be perfect for you."

"No way," Gold immediately objects. "Don't get me wrong, I like slots as much as the next guy, but doing 'em right takes time, and we're only here for a day. I'm not gonna throw all my money away on a game of chance like that."

Ruby levels an incredulous look at Gold. "We're in a casino," Ruby explains, exasperated. "Isn't the point to throw money away on games of chance?"

Gold cocks his head to one side, considering Ruby. "You think every game in a casino comes down to luck?" He shakes his head. "Then I don't know what to tell you, Fashionable Lad, other than you haven't been paying much attention."

"It's impossible to tell where the ball's going to end up beforehand," Ruby argues. He watches skeptically as the roulette operator leans over to clear the balls from the wheel. "You can improve your odds of winning depending on how you bet, but you can't control when the ball drops. You're still relying on luck in the end."

"That's where you're wrong, Fashionable Lad. You fence yourself in way too much. You gotta create your own luck!"

"What does that even mean?"

"Let me put it this way: We started with the same number of tokens, but there's a reason I made bank and you're in the poorhouse." Gold grins, twirling a token between his fingers. On his lap, Togebo does the same, a perfect mirror, right down to the impish smile. "And it's not because you were trying to lose at first. Although that doesn't hurt."

"How did you know — wait, have you been sabotaging me?" Ruby demands.

"Not at all, Fashionable Lad! You're doing such a great job losing on your own. I wouldn't want to get in the way," Gold answers, and lifts his arms up in a casual stretch.

"Anyway, I'm gonna take a break for a bit. Gotta exchange this loot for some swag," Gold announces. He plucks Togebo from his lap and holds him out to Ruby. "Togebo can take care of himself, but look after him anyway, Fashionable Lad."

Togebo seems to evaluate Ruby, roving his eyes up and down before passing judgment on Ruby's face with a challenging glare. Ruby gingerly reaches out to lift Togebo from Gold's hands and places him on his own lap, facing the roulette wheel. Togebo immediately turns around and fixes Ruby with a look that could crush diamond. Ruby feels sweat on his forehead.

"Er. Did I do something wrong?" Ruby asks.

"Nope! That's the face he makes when he likes you."

Ruby looks back at Togebo, whose glare has ratcheted slightly downward in intensity, all the way from "melting stone" to merely "melting ice.” Ruby squirms. "…Are you sure?"

"Course I'm sure!" Gold says. He hops down from his seat and grabs a tray, stacking tokens on top of it until they sway dangerously. "Don't try to lose everything 'til after I get back, okay, Fashionable Lad?"

"I'll try," Ruby grumbles to Gold's retreating back. Togebo jabs him in the stomach. "Gold-Senpai," he adds, petulantly. Ruby looks down at Togebo with wary eyes. Togebo glares daggers back at Ruby. Ruby wonders if he's supposed to be watching Togebo, or if Togebo's supposed to be watching him.

"Last call for bets! Ladies and gentlemen, place your bets now!"

Ruby shifts focus from the irritable Pokémon occupying his lap and to the roulette wheel. All twelve sections are now empty, a trio of pastel colors swirling together, mocking Ruby and his failure. Ruby glances at his ten remaining tokens. He figures he may as well see how long his losing streak continues, and slides a token onto the maize-colored circle with a picture of a Wynaut.

Togebo grumbles unhappily.

"What?" Ruby grumbles back. "You don't like that space?"

Togebo nods.

"You know it doesn't matter, right?" Ruby tells him. "They all have the same likelihood of being chosen. I'll probably lose this time too, just like every other time before."

Togebo glares at Ruby. Then he rolls his eyes and huffily turns back toward the roulette wheel.

"I'm glad that we agree," Ruby says drily. He glances up at the Taillow hovering above the roulette wheel. The ball finally drops from its talons, and Ruby watches it begin its spiralling descent. Sure enough, it ends up in a spot that's not Ruby's. There's another round of grumbling as the roulette operator claims the table's tokens.

"I honestly don't understand how anybody would find this enjoyable." Ruby places a token on seafoam Wynaut. He ignores Togebo's indignant muttering. "It's all mindless guesswork. Hmph, maybe that's why Gold likes it."

Togebo jabs him in the stomach again.

"Oof! _What_?" Ruby demands. Togebo's glare has achieved magma intensity again. Ruby sighs. "Fine. I meant, 'Maybe that's why Gold- _Senpai_ likes it.'"

Togebo nods approvingly, before turning back to watch the roulette wheel. The ball lands on maize Skitty. Ruby watches another of his tokens disappear into the operator's collection.

"Contests are a much more civilized means of entertainment," Ruby explains to nobody in particular. "There's growing the best Berries to create the smoothest Pokéblocks. Then there’s the visual evaluation — it takes time to groom Pokémon so they achieve their highest condition. And you can't forget about choosing the right combination of moves to dazzle the judges."

Ruby slides a token to a space at random; Togebo, as usual, protests. "And unlike this, there's skill involved. I could take any Pokémon and turn them into a Master-Rank contender. Not just any coordinator could do that," Ruby boasts. He looks down at the testy foot-tall Pokémon sitting on his lap. "What about it? I could transform you into a superstar. Definitely in the tough category. Maybe even the cute division, if you can manage to drop the eternally peeved look."

Togebo sticks out his tongue.

"…Or not. You really are a lot like Gold," Ruby says. Togebo pulls back a stubby hand for another punch. "Gold- _Senpai_ ," Ruby hastily corrects.

Togebo disarms. Ruby sighs. There's no question that Togebo is the one watching him, not the other way around.

Ruby glances up just in time to witness another loss. He has seven tokens remaining now. He slides them all onto maize Azurill.

Togebo starts sputtering in protest.

"What?" Ruby grunts. "I'm not going to win. May as well put myself out of my misery."

Togebo's indignant sputtering intensifies.

"Look, the game's designed for the player to lose," Ruby explains, exasperated.

Togebo readies a punch.

"Okay, okay!" Ruby surrenders. "Do you want to choose the spot?"

Togebo nods. He turns back toward the wheel and taps the table once, as if to indicate the closest spot. Ruby repositions the tokens over maize Makuhita. Togebo nods in approval.

"All right," Ruby says as Taillow drops the ball onto the roulette. "There, happy?"

Togebo doesn't answer, watching the wheel intently.

"Don't get your hopes up," Ruby sighs, gazing disinterestedly at the slowly decelerating silver ball. "There's only a one-out-of-nine chance it'll land in maize Makuhita, and that's not even —"

The ball lands in maize Makuhita. Togebo smirks up at Ruby, triumphant.

"You got lucky," Ruby huffs. Togebo rolls his eyes. "Fine, you want to choose again? You're not going to get it right twice in a row," Ruby taunts.

Togebo taps the table twice in quick succession, then three times. Ruby thinks that means the second row and the third column, which would be…

"Lilac Azurill? Is that right?"

Togebo nods assertively. Ruby obediently bets everything on that space. Taillow drops the silver ball.

"Just watch," Ruby says, confident. "You might guess correctly one time, but it would be inconceivable to get it right a second time in a row. I mean, what kind of —"

Togebo gets it right a second time in a row.

Ruby stares in disbelief.

"It looks like your luck is turning around, young man!" the roulette operator tells him, retrieving Ruby's winnings before clearing the balls off the wheel.

"…Looks like it," Ruby murmurs. He frowns down at a smirking Togebo. It's a smug, told-you-so smile that's too eerily reminiscent of Gold for Ruby's liking.

"Okay. What's going on?" Ruby hisses down at Togebo. Togebo looks back at him dismissively. It's frankly impressive how many facial expressions Togebo can communicate with only a glare.

"Right," Ruby grunts. "You're not going to tell me. Of course." Ruby surveys the table and everything on it: the tokens, the spinning wheel, the colorful Pokémon icons, the collection of silver balls, the Taillow perched atop a stand. Bets are placed on the table. The roulette operator gives a silver ball to the Taillow. Taillow waits for a period of time before dropping the ball onto the wheel. The ball spins around the wheel, then stops. If it stops in the same spot a player bet on, the player wins. If not, the player loses. All rounds are the same.

Ruby frowns. If all rounds are the same, then the results should be easy to predict. But they're not. Taillow sometimes drops the ball immediately, and sometimes waits. There's no way to tell when it will drop the ball, so there's no way to tell where the ball will end up — that's why the results are uncertain. If people knew what Taillow would do beforehand, it wouldn't be gambling. If you could predict Taillow's next move, you could predict where the ball ends up.

Ruby glances down at Togebo, eyeing Taillow intently. Ruby glances up at Taillow, gripping a silver ball between its talons, then releasing it onto the wheel. Ruby glances down at Togebo, clapping his hands in glee. Ruby glances up at Taillow, preening itself while the silver ball spirals on the roulette wheel below it. The ball clatters to a stop.

And then it clicks. You can predict Taillow's next move — if you force it to use the same one.

"You've been using Encore, haven't you?" Ruby breathes. Togebo looks at him, smug.

"The first drop is still random. You won't win it, except by sheer luck," Ruby continues, thinking hard. "But for every drop after that, if you know how long the first drop takes, and force it to repeat again and again… It takes some skill, and good concentration, but you can predict where the ball will stop."

Togebo shrugs and rolls his eyes, as if to say "duh." Ruby realizes that Gold probably had this in mind from the very moment he sat Togebo on his lap under the guise of babysitting. In fact, Togebo's less an unwitting participant and more an active co-conspirator in this scheme. Far from some naive, newborn Pokémon, Togebo's behind Gold's entire winning streak. And nobody suspected a thing.

"It's brilliant," Ruby reflects aloud.

"Glad to hear it, Fashionable Lad!"

Ruby jumps. Togebo, caught off-guard by Ruby's sudden movement, wobbles and nearly loses his balance. Gold drops into his own chair, and Togebo immediately leaps from Ruby’s lap into Gold’s. Togebo just as immediately shoots Ruby a menacing glare. Togebo's talent for intimidation could give a Salamence a run for its money.

"Hope you two didn't get into too much trouble while I was away!" Gold grins.

"Look who's talking," Ruby hisses. "You've been rigging the ball drops this entire time?"

"Sure have," Gold answers, scratching Togebo's head. Togebo leans into the gesture, all the while trying to look as if he's not. "Togebo's a real clutch player, wouldn't you say?"

"I'd say it's cheating," Ruby whispers angrily.

"Oh, spare me the outrage, Fashionable Lad. If you play by the casino's rules, you're gonna get ripped off," Gold explains matter-of-factly. "Like I said, there's a reason I made bank and you're in the poorhouse."

"By cheating?"

"Is it cheating when the game's built against you?"

"Yes."

"Then I guess I'm a rotten cheater," Gold brags. Togebo grins up at him. The two could be twins. "It doesn't matter whether it's gambling or Pokémon, I play to win. And if the playing field's tilted against you, then the answer's clear: You gotta tilt it back the other way!"

Ruby belatedly realizes that unrigging a rigged game, then re-rigging it to favor Gold is par for the course. After all, the reason they're sitting here in the first place is because Gold lied about their ages and used the threat of a pissed-off gym leader to get past the game corner's age limit. It's a virtual hat trick of rule-breaking.

"You make your own luck," Ruby says aloud, recalling what Gold said earlier.

"That's right, Fashionable Lad!" Gold boasts. "It's great you're finally catching on!"

Ruby turns his attention back to the roulette. The entire table has its focus on the spinning wheel; it's unlikely anyone has overheard Gold and Ruby's conversation. The roulette operator has just handed another ball to Taillow. Togebo’s probably used Encore on this round, too.

Well, two can play at that game.

Ruby clears his throat. A half-dozen pairs of eyes raise themselves from the table to look curiously at Ruby.

Ruby drops the bomb.

"This man's been cheating," Ruby announces, loudly, and points accusingly at Gold.

Gold's jaw falls open. So does Togebo's.

"He hasn't been babysitting a Togepi," Ruby continues, enjoying the rising panic evident on Gold's face. "He's been using Togepi's moves to rig the ball drops, and —"

"H-hey, what?" Gold interrupts in a frantic whisper. On his lap, Togebo looks similarly outraged. "What're you doing, Fashionable Lad?"

Ruby tries his best to look innocent. "I don't understand what the problem is, Gold-Senpai. I'm making my own luck."

Gold's stupefied expression is glorious to behold.

"Out with it. Are you cheating?" the roulette operator grunts. The entire table has turned its collective ire on the squirming figure sitting next to Ruby. Ruby tries not to smile.

"Well, I guess that depends," Gold stammers uncomfortably. He shifts his gaze left and right.

"Depends on what?" the roulette operator growls dangerously. "Choose your answer carefully."

Gold shrinks in his seat. "Okay, okay. You got me. I've been using Togebo to pick where the ball ends up. That's how I've been doing so well." He's somehow managed to look apologetic, even though Ruby knows that the word doesn't exist in Gold's vocabulary.

"You admit it, then?" the roulette operator asks.

Gold nods meekly. "I admit it. The three of us planned this hustle from the start."

The roulette operator raises a skeptical eyebrow. "The three of you?"

"Uh-huh." Gold nods his head vigorously, then jabs a finger at Ruby. "It was all his idea."

"What?" the roulette operator grunts.

"What?" Ruby parrots.

"He made me promise not to tell," Gold carries on, and now it's Ruby who’s too stupefied to do anything. "The whole thing was his idea to begin with. Fashionable Lad's the one —"

"Oh no, don't even start with that." Ruby's recovered from his initial shock at the sheer audacity of Gold's lying, and he'll be damned if Gold gets away with it. "I never wanted to come here to begin with. I had nothing to do with this."

"What are you talking about?" Gold gawks. He manages to affix a look of surprise to his face. "We would've never even gotten in here if you hadn't pulled strings with the lady at the front desk!"

"Wh-what? That was you! You did that!"

"How could I? I’m not the one whose father is a gym leader!"

"You were the one who brought him up, not me!"

"I didn't need to. I'm legal, and you're not."

"No, you aren't! That ID's a fake, and —"

"I'm going to need security to escort two young men outside," the roulette operator voices into a walkie talkie.

Ruby flinches. "Wait, both of us? I haven't done anything wrong!"

"If you didn't, we're going to want to take a statement," the roulette operator says. "And if you did, we're going to want more than that."

Ruby's face goes ashen. If this ends up going to the police, they'll surely notify his father. And his father will surely have some choice words for Ruby.

"What's wrong, Fashionable Lad?" Gold pipes up. He's reclining as far as he can against the back of his chair, eyes closed, hands tucked behind his head as though he's relaxing on some tropical vacation. "I happen to think you'd look great in stripes."

"I absolutely would _not_ ," Ruby protests. "How can you be so calm right now?"

Gold lazily opens an eye. "Dunno. Maybe 'cuz we already got everything we wanted outta this and now it's time to bail?"

"Huh?" is all Ruby can manage.

"You heard me.” Gold cracks a smile. "Let's say thanks, Togebo!"

At the very instant Ruby realizes that Togebo is no longer perched on Gold's lap, a cloud of acrid smoke bursts into the air, surrounding everything in sight with plumes of hazy gray. A cacophony of coughing and cursing erupts from around the table. Ruby can't see his hand in front of his face.

"Thanks, everyone! It's been real!" Gold's voice emanates from behind the walls of smoke. A hand grabs Ruby's wrist and yanks. Ruby can't tell whose hand it is, or where they're going; it’s impossible to see. Then Ruby hears a door swing open and the smoke is suddenly gone, replaced with a sudden burst of sunlight that attacks Ruby’s eyes.

"Hold on tight, Fashionable Lad!" Gold's voice yells. There's the sound of clothes shuffling and the mechanisms of a Poké Ball working.

"To what?" Ruby demands. He gets his answer when he feels fur beneath his fingers. It's oily and matted in patches and in dire need of brushing. Ruby grimaces. He grabs at it anyway. Not a second later, Ruby feels a jolt of forward momentum, the wind pressing against his face and the whooshing white noise of rapid motion blowing past.

When his eyes finally adjust to the light, Ruby registers three things. First, the sprinting Pokémon's pelt he's clinging to belongs to Exbo. Second, Ruby is currently fleeing atop the aforementioned Exbo because he potentially could be considered an accessory to a crime. Third, and most important: This is all Gold's fault.

"This was a horrible idea! Who gets kicked out of a game corner?" Ruby shouts into the rushing wind.

"It's no way to treat paying customers, I'll tell you that," Gold laments. He's sitting in front of Ruby, leisurely checking his Pokégear as Exbo bounds down the street at an ungodly speed. Gold's actually wearing his goggles, the ones Ruby had originally chalked up to an expensive, misguided attempt at a fashion statement. It's now clear that Gold keeps them for the more practical utility of making a quick getaway. Ruby wonders why he had ever thought otherwise.

"Doesn't Goldenrod City have a game corner? Why don't you go there?"

"Well, that's very simple, Fashionable Lad! I'm not allowed back."

Ruby groans, because _of course_ Gold's been banned from a game corner.

"It's a shame, really. There's nothing like a good game of card flip. Have you ever played?"

"No! Of course not!"

"We're gonna have to add that to the list, then," Gold decides, and stows his Pokégear back in his pocket, entirely unperturbed by Exbo's rocket-like speed or fundamental standards of human decency. He raises his arms in a nonchalant stretch. "It's really too bad. We were on such a big winning streak."

"You rigged the roulette wheel!"

"Yeah, Togebo did a good job, didn't he?"

"You set off a smoke bomb inside the building!"

"Those are really hard to come by; dunno where I'm gonna find another one."

"You almost got me arrested!"

"Correction: I _saved_ you from getting arrested!" Gold replies. "I coulda just left you to the wolves back there, but Exbo's a pretty comfy ride, isn't he?"

"His fur is a catastrophe," Ruby mutters to himself. He readjusts his grip on Exbo's back, searching in vain for a patch of fur that hasn't been dirtied. Then, louder: "You were the one who dragged me into this mess when you made a spectacle out of accusing me!"

"You kinda forced my hand, there," Gold says. "After all, you made your own spectacle by shouting about how I was cheating."

"You _were_!"

"And really, what was that all about?" Gold asks, briefly turning a lackadaisical glance on Ruby. "Everything was going just fine until you opened your mouth. It's almost like you wanted us to be kicked out!"

"I wonder where you got that idea from," Ruby snipes back.

Gold puts on an exaggerated frown. "Aw, that's not very nice, Fashionable Lad. After all, I won our battle fair and square!"

"Even so, I didn't sign up for illegal gambling! Or cheating at illegal gambling! Or spending my afternoon clinging to the unwashed back of a Typhlosion!" Exbo growls and bucks his back; Ruby scrambles to not fall off. "No offense, Exbo," Ruby clarifies. "It's not your fault your trainer couldn't tell the difference between a paddle hairbrush and a round hairbrush if it smacked him in the face."

"I got no clue," Gold seems proud to confirm.

"Well, perhaps you should learn," Ruby retorts. "Since apparently all you know is how to cheat at roulette."

"Not just roulette — figuring out how to win at gambling's a life skill, Fashionable Lad!"

"That's not a life skill."

"Sure it is, at least as much as putting on a show during Pokémon Contests. You're good at that, right?"

"Of course I am," Ruby says, affronted that anyone would consider him not to be. "We've won the Master Rank in all five —"

"Whoa, that smells good! Hey, Exbo, put it in park!"

A truncated "Huh?" is all Ruby has time for before Exbo screeches to a halt, and Ruby is launched face-first onto the ground. The very solid, very painful ground.

"Awesome jump, Fashionable Lad!" Gold's voice chuckles from somewhere above Ruby's prone form. "I'd give you the full ten points, but you didn't stick the landing."

Ruby stares at the pavement. It's probably having a better day than he is. His clothes have been, in order: streaked by grass stains, bathed in clouds of cigarette smoke, mottled by unwashed, unbrushed Typhlosion fur, and now dirtied by a street cocktail of whatever garbage people and Pokémon leave in the street. Also, his face hurts. Meteor Falls almost sounds tranquil.

"Up and at 'em, Fashionable Lad. You can't just lie in the street all day."

Yes, he can.

"I'm gonna keep poking you with my cue until you get up," Gold announces.

Ruby grumbles and pulls himself upright, brushing dust from his pants, from his shirt, from his sleeves, from his gloves, from his hat, from his face. Gold watches with thinly veiled amusement.

"Everything okay there, Fashionable Lad?"

"Yes," Ruby huffs. "No thanks to you."

"Glad to hear it!" Gold grins, entirely unfazed. "'Cuz I just realized I'm starving."

The enticing scent of something being batter-fried comes floating from the open plaza in front of them, and Ruby realizes he's hungry, too. He hasn't eaten anything since breakfast.

But this is Gold they're talking about. He's chaos personified. Hell on wheels. A threat to civilized life as everyone knows it. What will start as a simple lunch trip will undoubtedly end in a flaming disaster.

"Come on, Fashionable Lad. Let's grab a bite, already."

"Last time I went someplace with you, you got us kicked out of the building," Ruby counters, arms crossed. He tries to shove his hunger farther down his stomach.

"That was all you, Fashionable Lad," Gold insists. Ruby opens his mouth to protest, but he's cut off. "Besides, this is just lunch — what's there to mess up?"

Ruby is skeptical. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”

"So what are you gonna do instead? Just not eat, or what?"

Ruby has to concede at least that point.

"You got no faith in your senpai, huh? All right, I promise I won't get us kicked out. Look, I'll even treat, since I'm your senpai and all," Gold says, and waves a couple of bills in Ruby's face. "I'm hungry, you're hungry, I'm gonna pay, we get delicious food, and all I'm asking in return is a 'thank you!' Sounds like a good deal to me."

"…Fine," Ruby finally decides, at the same time as his stomach gurgles. "Let's go, then."

"Uh-huh," Gold nods, and smiles impishly. "Just as soon as you say thanks!"

Ruby frowns. "Well, thank you."

Gold doesn't budge. His eyes bore into Ruby's expectantly.

Ruby scowls. "Thank you, Gold- _Senpai_."

"Why, not at all, Fashionable Lad! Let's go — I'm starved!" Gold proclaims, and leads the way into the plaza, billiard cue in hand, goggles affixed to his hat, swagger firmly in place. Ruby sighs before haltingly following behind. It's too early to already be having second thoughts.

* * *

Not ten minutes later, Ruby is entering sixth and seventh thoughts territory.

"So, you're telling me that you have to win a Pokémon battle to get the open seats?" Gold says, seemingly dazzled by the prospect and considering it far too seriously for Ruby to be entirely comfortable.

The taller of the pair of teenage girls who had approached them evaluates them indifferently. "Uh-huh," she says, bored. She's dressed in a black blouse and a white skirt that she probably thinks is stylish, but really makes her look like a walking yin-yang sign. She's chewing a piece of gum, and her lips pop apart in a loud _smack_. "Those are the rules at the Mauville Food Court."

Gold eagerly looks at Ruby.

"Absolutely not," Ruby objects, before Gold can even open his mouth.

"What? Why not, Fashionable Lad?"

"I came here to eat," Ruby insists, glowering at Gold over the table. "Pokémon battles weren't part of the deal."

"But I already paid!" Gold whines. "I don't wanna spend money and then get nothing!"

"Then why don't _you_ battle, if you're so eager?" Ruby replies.

"Do you have rocks for brains, White-Hair?" the shorter of the duo sneers. While her companion is entirely monochromatic, the smaller girl apparently decided to forgo choosing, instead slathering her clothes with the entire rainbow. Her hair is tied up in bunches by a pair of polka dot bows, jutting like antennae from the top of her head.

"Excuse you. This is a cap," Ruby politely informs her.

"Whatever." The colorful girl's eye roll is acrobatic enough to earn a gold medal. "This table is for double battles. Unless you're giving up? Then give us our seats, already."

“You know it takes two to tango in double battles, Fashionable Lad,” Gold chimes in. “And if you want my two cents, it would be positively _two-faced_ —"

"Please stop," Ruby groans.

"— to quit now. We get food and a battle — it’s two birds with one stone! The rules say we have to battle!"

"So _now_ you want to follow the rules?"

"I'm getting real mixed messages, here. You made me promise not to get us kicked out. Now you want me to get us kicked out?" Gold asks. "I can't do both, Fashionable Lad."

Ruby throws his head back in frustration.

"Come on, Fashionable Lad. It's just a Pokémon battle," Gold pleads. "I know you're good at 'em, and you like it more than you let on —"

"I do _not_."

"— and besides, you agreed to it, and I already paid and I'm hungry and I want Magnemite croquettes. Is that so wrong?"

"Yeah, if you're not going to battle, just leave already," the colorful girl scoffs. "Quit wasting our time."

"What Mayumi said," the monochrome girl agrees in a monotone. A pink bubble emerges from her mouth. It pops. She smacks on her gum.

"Please, Fashionable Lad?"

Ruby crosses his arms. "No," he fumes. "You didn't seem to care about my opinion when you forced me to go to the game corner, or when you used my father's name to get inside. And now you have the gall to ask when you finally need my help, just so you can get your croquettes?"

"But we agreed — whoever won our battle would get to pick what we did in Mauville!"

"I never wanted to battle in the first place!" Ruby responds in a flare of self-righteousness. "I only participated under duress, because you threatened to immolate my hat! This entire time, you forced me to go along with your shenanigans and never listened to a thing I said. All I wanted was a quiet day of shopping for Pokémon clothes and dolls. Not illegal gambling, not running from security, and certainly not endless Pokémon battles!"

Gold pauses, and seems to evaluate Ruby for a moment.

"What?" Ruby demands, unsettled by Gold's sudden silence. "Are you going to steal my hat again? Or maybe there's some new threat you want to make?"

"Nah," Gold finally says, shaking his head. He shifts his gaze over to another table, where two teenagers are happily chatting away, one apparently in the middle of illustrating a story with wild hand gestures and the other looking on with a croquette in his hand and an open smile on his face. "Besides, I'm asking permission, now."

Ruby thinks he's even more unsettled by the fact that Gold seems to be considering his words for once.

Gold abruptly turns away from the other table and faces Ruby like a wall. "But I did think you'd learned something from when we were at the game corner," he continues testily. "I guess I was wrong."

"What's there to learn, other than you break laws and cheat at gambling?" That's the kind of response Ruby is used to hearing from Gold. This is the kind of response Ruby is used to giving.

"Like I said before, you fence yourself in too much, Fashionable Lad. You gotta roll with the waves sometimes."

"Was that word salad supposed to mean something?"

"You just don't understand metaphors."

"You should figure out new ones if that's the best you can do."

"Why, yes, I did come all the way from Johto on vacation to work on my metaphors!" Gold snarks. "No, I came for Magnemite croquettes, and you're too busy putting up fences and walls to get outta the way."

"You keep saying that like it means something, but all I hear is —"

Ruby is interrupted by the distinctive _pop_ of bubble gum.

"Gawd, if all you two bozos are gonna do is have some lame argument, do it somewhere else!" the colorful girl bites out. "We've been standing here for, like, an hour! It's like listening to Stupid and Dumb!"

"You don't have to convince me," Gold shrugs. "I'm down for a battle; it's Fashionable Lad who's got a problem with it."

"And how is that our problem?" the colorful girl demands. Her companion nods silently. "Just because White-Idiot-Hair and Black-Idiot-Hair can't figure their shit out doesn't mean we have to waste our time!"

"I've told you before, it's a _hat_ ," Ruby insists, at the same time Gold protests, "It's not idiot hair, this is fashionable!"

"Right," the colorful girl snorts. Her bunched-up hair wags haughtily at Gold. "I guess that hairstyle is what passes for fashionable in Johto."

Gold looks like a Magikarp slapped him in the face. Ruby commits the image to memory.

"I mean, I was wondering why you looked like garbage this entire time. But it's not like you can help it. Everyone knows Johto's a total backwater."

Now Gold looks like he just swallowed a live Magikarp whole. Ruby quickly hides his smile behind his hand.

"Well, look at Little Miss Shuppet over here," Gold drawls. He's recovered from his Magikarp fugue; irritation radiates from his body like tremors radiate from an earthquake's center. "I didn't know talking shit was the pastime of people from Hoenn."

The colorful girl grimaces. "Gross, don't compare us to those neanderthals. They barely speak the same language. Or language at all, for that matter."

Ruby's smile vanishes.

Gold leans forward, looking for all intents and purposes like a Sharpedo sizing up its prey. "So what are Their Royal Highnesses doing mingling with the natives?"

"Parents made us go," the monochrome girl supplies. She audibly swallows her gum, then pops another stick into her mouth and resumes smacking. Ruby shudders. "Family bonding. Or something."

"Believe me, we wouldn't be here unless we absolutely had to. At least Mauville was supposed to be civilized, but it turns out it's even more of a dump than the rest of this stupid island. We can't even get room service."

"Oh, I get it," Gold says knowingly. "You had to come to the food court because room service got tired of putting up with your faces."

"That's rich, coming from your stupid face, Johto boy," the colorful girl jeers. "Now get out, already. We paid good money for our food. Not that I'm expecting much from an island of stick huts. Honestly, the entire region could sink into the sea and nobody would even care."

"Shut up."

"Excuse me?"

"I said, shut up," Ruby states, voice dangerously level. "Or is your sense of hearing as bad as your fashion sense?"

The colorful girl glares at Ruby. "Who do you think you are? You're just some stupid loser with a stupid hat who's being stupid and won't get the hell out of our seats."

"Apologize to Mayumi," the monochrome girl says.

Ruby looks directly at the girl with the multicolor polkadot bows and the ostentatiously awful, overly colorful clothes. "I'm sorry. It must be horrible to be colorblind. My condolences."

The girl's face turns into a tomato. Her hair trembles.

"Since you're colorblind, you couldn't possibly be expected to know that your clothes are a walking pile of rainbow vomit. I'll give you some free fashion advice: Keep your clothes away from two-year-olds with markers. I feel bad for the pumpkin you sacrificed for that hideous orange-and-green cardigan. Not to mention that it pairs horribly with the color of your face. I'd suggest using medium foundation; red isn't a good color for you. You should keep the bows for your hair, though. They're perfect for a teenager who acts like a sniveling child."

The pink bubble hanging from the monochrome girl's mouth slowly deflates. Her companion's red face flushes scarlet, then an unhealthy eggplant.

"…Holy shit," Gold breathes.

"Hmph, I'm only stating what anyone with eyes can see," Ruby says, lips curled in disapproval. "And I've had enough looking at the faces of two people who know nothing about inner beauty, let alone outer beauty." Ruby reaches for a Poké Ball, and holds it up like a weapon, light glinting off its surface. "What are you waiting for, Gold-Senpai — didn't you want a battle?"

"H-huh, we're battling now?" Gold stammers in surprise. "Er, you got it, Fashionable Lad! Let's get our Magnemite croquettes, Exbo!"

"People who can't appreciate what makes Hoenn beautiful should get off the contest floor," Ruby announces, spinning the Poké Ball in his hands. He watches in satisfaction as dread belatedly bleeds across the girls' faces. A whisper of a smile ghosts across his own. "I'm going to enjoy it when Zuzu purées your Pokémon," he declares, and that's all he needs to say before Zuzu proceeds to show everybody exactly how that's done.

* * *

"Man, these Magnemite croquettes are the best! I can't believe they don't have these in Johto, not even Goldenrod has 'em —"

"Don't talk with your mouth full," Ruby scolds.

"Okay, okay," Gold says, in between bites of croquette. He swallows, and plucks another from the basket. "But you gotta admit, there's no way we're gonna have leftovers. These are top-notch."

"For being served at a food court, they're definitely higher quality than I expected," Ruby concedes. He takes a careful bite of his own croquette to avoid scalding his tongue. Gold seems to have no such reservations, tearing into his own immediately. Gold's been doing most of the work, but between the two of them, they've already devoured half the basket.

"I mean, we coulda gotten 'em much quicker if you hadn't been so freaked about battling, but better late than never, yeah?" Gold comments, thankfully without bits of croquette sticking out of his mouth this time. "Although, I don't think Zuzu hitting Exbo with that Surf was really necessary."

Ruby's not entirely sorry for that.

"Real talk, though, Fashionable Lad," Gold says, flicking a croquette toward Exbo, perhaps as an apology. Exbo snaps it up out of the air and swallows it whole. "You're super good at battling. Why do you keep saying you hate it?"

"You don't have to like something to be good at it," is Ruby's practiced response.

"Yeah, but you don't get that good by accident. You could probably beat most trainers with both hands behind your back — except for me, of course."

"You were lucky," Ruby maintains. He still can't get over the unfathomably absurd luck it took for Gold to pull that Razor Leaf trick off.

"What did I say about making my own luck?" Gold grins. "If you don't think so, we can have another battle. As your senpai, I'll take a challenge from you anytime, Fashionable Lad!"

"No thanks," Ruby answers. A flicker of a frown passes on Gold's face, like a floodlight suddenly changing colors during a contest, and then it's gone, replaced with that cocksure smile that seems to be Gold's default expression.

Ruby senses eyes on him. He glances down at Zuzu's Poké Ball, where Zuzu is looking expectantly at him from underneath the Poké Ball's shell. What Zuzu is expecting, Ruby isn't sure, because he sees many things — triumph, over crushing those two obnoxious girls just now? Apology, over losing to Exbo in a fluke earlier today? Determination, to improve so that Zuzu and Ruby can show Gold what they're capable of firsthand?

"But you're changing the subject, Fashionable Lad," Gold prods. "What's wrong with Pokémon battles?"

"I have a list," Ruby answers. "They're barbaric. My Pokémon get dirty, and they're not meant for battles. That should all go without saying. Am I not allowed to have likes and dislikes? I don't criticize you for wasting your life at game corners."

"You've been doing that all day," Gold points out.

"Anyway. I like sewing and Pokémon contests. I don't like playing in the mud and Pokémon battling. Why is that a problem?"

"It's not a problem at all, Fashionable Lad. I was just curious, that's all."

"Well, I like what I like and I don't like what I don't like, and that's all there is to it," Ruby declares with finality. He reaches for a croquette.

Gold seems to accept his answer, because he reaches for a croquette of his own and drops the entire thing in his mouth. His cheeks bulge out. Ruby grimaces.

"Hey, you know what," Gold says, after he's swallowed. He examines Ruby from across the table.

"What?"

"I bet it has to do with why you have that scar."

Ruby almost chokes on his croquette. "How did you know that?" he demands, instinctively reaching to yank his hat farther down his head.

Gold breaks out in a grin, half triumphant, half pleased, and all smug. "Well, for one thing, you just told me."

Ruby groans. He can't believe he's fallen for the oldest trick in the book.

"And for another, Wild Girl may have mentioned it once."

Ruby's eyes bulge; an involuntary shiver runs down his back. "She told you about the Salamence?"

"No, but you just did. Again."

Ruby groans. Again.

"So you gotta tell me now!" Gold demands. "I wanna know!"

"It's personal," Ruby denies him. Better than battles, better than contests, Ruby's become an expert at this one particular thing.

"Aw, come on, Fashionable Lad! You can't just leave me hanging like that! There's gotta be —"

"I said, _no_ ," Ruby snaps, and the whirling undercurrents in his voice are enough to finally force Gold to back off and shut up.

It's only for a second. "Tell me how you really feel, why don't you," Gold jokes, and reaches for another croquette, his hand rustling against the paper of the basket as though it's trying to fill the empty space. His rummaging continues, until finally he makes a face and removes his hand without taking any croquettes. "On second thought, I think I'm full. Here, Fashionable Lad, you can have the rest," he decides, and slides the basket over to Ruby.

Ruby makes a face of his own. "After you put your hands all over them?"

"What's wrong with that? It's not like I have cooties."

"It's unsanitary."

Gold rolls his eyes and shoves the basket farther into Ruby's hands. "Too bad, 'cuz I'm giving 'em to you. If you don't wanna get your cootie shot, then give 'em to Zuzu. Oh! And that reminds me," he says, and turns around and starts rifling through his backpack.

Ruby frowns down at the basket, where there are still about a dozen leftover croquettes.

"Hey, catch!" Gold announces, and Ruby looks up in time for something to smack into his face.

Gold bursts into laughter. "We gotta work on your reflexes, Fashionable Lad. But keep making that face in the meantime. It's golden!"

"Or you could not throw things at people? Just a suggestion," Ruby grunts. He looks away from Gold and at his lap, where the thing fell after it hit his face. He stares at it.

It's a Mudkip doll.

Gold guffaws again. "Your eyes are as big as Electrodes, Fashionable Lad. Come on, it's not gonna bite you or anything."

Ruby tentatively lifts the doll from his lap and turns it so it's facing him. It's a nearly perfect likeness of Zuzu, back when he was only a Mudkip, and it's life-size, to boot. The stitchwork is surprisingly well-done, perhaps even hand-made, and the colors are vibrant, and the fabric is high-quality, and the fin atop its head flops endearingly back and forth. Ruby moves his hand along its side. It's soft.

"Where did you get this?" Ruby wonders aloud.

"What, you thought I had Togebo do his thing at the game corner for the fun of it?"

Ruby narrows his eyes suspiciously. "Didn't you?"

"Okay, I _did_ , but that's not the point. The point is that I had tokens that weren't going to spend themselves, and there were Pokémon dolls to spend 'em on. So I did."

"You don't seem like the type to buy Pokémon dolls," Ruby observes.

"How dense are you, Fashionable Lad?" Gold complains, exasperated. "It's not mine. It's yours."

"Mine?" Ruby parrots.

"Duh. I'm giving it to you. Isn't that what I said? If you don't want it, then give it back."

Ruby clutches the Mudkip doll closer. "No."

"That's what I thought," Gold scoffs. He bends over to reach for his backpack again, and produces another doll, this one of a Treecko.

"I didn't know whether to get Peculiar Boy one or not since he never knew his Pokémon as a Treecko," Gold says, setting it down directly in front of Ruby, before going back to his backpack. "But he's always been worried about being left out, you know, so only a real jerk would not get him anything." Gold deposits a Torchic doll right next to the Treecko doll. "And then there's Wild Girl; I'm sure you know this, Fashionable Lad, but she really likes cute things, maybe even more than you, so I bet she'll like the Torchic one," he carries on. He zips his backpack shut.

Ruby stares at the pair of dolls sitting on the table. They stare back.

"You look like a Slowpoke, Fashionable Lad."

Ruby shakes himself. "I don't understand," he says, looking cautiously from the Treecko and Torchic plushes to the Mudkip doll he's holding close to his chest. "Aren't those for Sapphire and Emerald? Why are you giving them to me?"

"Do I gotta spell it out for you?" Gold says, annoyed. "First off, I'm sure Wild Girl would like her doll better if it came from you instead of me —"

"What is that supposed to mean?" Ruby demands.

"— and then it'd be weird if it was just me giving the only doll left to Peculiar Boy. Nah, it's easier if you do it. Besides, I'm sure you have a mountain of Pokémon dolls at home, so it makes total sense for you to take care of the whole deal."

"But you bought them. Why won't you do it?"

"I just told you that you're the best man for the job, Fashionable Lad."

"But I can't give that to Sapphire; she'll think…" Ruby trails off.

"She'll think what?"

Ruby isn't brave enough to answer.

Gold puts his elbows on the table, cupping his chin in his hands, face longer than the horizon. "Jeez, Fashionable Lad, you spend all day coming up with reasons not to do something and you're never gonna do anything," he finally says, and the solemn expression on his face is even more foreign to Ruby than the solemn tone of his voice. "You overthink things way too much."

"You don't think things through enough," Ruby retorts.

"Maybe!" Gold chirps. The return of his peppiness is somehow more comforting than Ruby thought possible. "But there's a reason I'm your senpai! And right now, your senpai's giving you a bunch of Pokémon dolls because you never got to go shopping like you wanted. I didn't get kicked out of the game corner for nothing, so just take 'em, already."

Ruby frowns at the Mudkip doll in his hands. The Mudkip doll smiles up at Ruby. Zuzu's Poké Ball rattles, and there's an encouraging blaze burning in Zuzu's eyes. Ruby remembers the day they met: his eleventh birthday, the day he ran into a pair of wild Mightyena and ran away from home, the day he couldn't take his father's imperious demands but could take his father's gift of a pair of running shoes, the day he met Zuzu and the day he met Sapphire.

Ruby reaches for the pair of dolls on the table. "All right, then. But only because I know you'll make me, even if I said no."

"You know me so well, Fashionable Lad!"

" _Too_ well," Ruby mutters to himself, as he carefully sets the Torchic and Treecko dolls in his backpack. Although, if Ruby is being completely honest with himself, he didn't think Gold would take it upon himself to be so generous. Perhaps Ruby doesn't know Gold as well as he thinks he does.

"There's just one _teensy_ little thing."

Never mind.

"See, Super Serious Gal isn't a huge fan of — some of my hobbies, let's say. And she'll have my head on a pike if she finds out I went to a game corner today, and especially if she finds out I took _you_ to a game corner today. So if you could do me a solid —"

"I got it," Ruby answers with a sigh. "What did we do instead."

Gold breaks into his by-now familiar mischievous grin, and despite the chaos of being chased out of a game corner and the flurry of too many Pokémon battles, Ruby can't help but think that it suits him. "Why, we went shopping, of course! You wanted to go, and I, like the good senpai I am, went with you! And that's where you got those Pokémon dolls!"

"That is exactly the opposite of what actually happened."

"Super Serious Gal doesn't need to know that. Seriously, have you ever been kicked by her before? Hurts like hell, dude. I had a bruise for a solid two weeks."

"Whatever it was for, you probably deserved it."

"I told her that scaring away that shiny Wooper was an accident! And besides, it's not like I did anything like that today. I was just treating my kohai to a good time, like any good senpai would do!"

There are a thousand objections, already half-formed in the back of Ruby's throat, involving lawlessness and cheating, parlor tricks and crude machinations, as to why the entire day has been nothing but an unmitigated disaster. They would all be accurate. But they all melt away before they can leave his mouth. And so Ruby says nothing, even as the smallest of smiles slips onto his lips, because that is accurate, too.

* * *

Ruby passes the brush down Exbo's thick mane of fur. Halfway down his back, the brush snags on a clump of tangled hair. Ruby squints and tries to wrangle it loose with his fingers. It's tightly knotted, but Ruby is patient, and Exbo is, too. Eventually, Ruby manages to work the fur free, and resumes his long, steady strokes with the brush. Ruby breathes out a contented sigh. In front of him, Exbo does the same.

"You're really getting into this, Fashionable Lad," Gold says from beside Ruby. His tone is somewhere past teasing but doing its best to stop short of impressed.

Ruby continues passing the brush through Exbo's coat, watching in satisfaction as it takes on a lustrous sheen, falling in smooth waves down Exbo's back. "People should always look their best. Pokémon are the same."

Gold leans back against the bench and yawns, though his eyes are still watching Ruby's hands intently. "Yeah, Exbo looks like he's really enjoying it." Exbo rumbles his agreement.

"Pokémon like to look good. That's Pokémon care 101. But the fact that his coat got this messy to begin with is a travesty. What he really needs is a bath."

"Exbo hates baths, though."

Ruby hums. "They say Pokémon take after their trainers."

"It's no wonder Exbo's so badass, then," Gold answers without skipping a beat. Ruby can think of several responses to that, but he decides that poking holes in Gold's words isn't worth upsetting Exbo by extension, who has been far more gentlemanly than Gold. Ruby considers it a minor miracle that Exbo didn't acquire all of Gold's habits.

"…So is that a round hairbrush or a paddle hairbrush?" Gold asks.

"A paddle hairbrush. It's designed to remove knots and tangles, and heaven knows Exbo needs it."

"All hairbrushes are designed to remove knots and tangles, Fashionable Lad," Gold says sagely.

Ruby scoffs. "That you can't tell the difference explains your haircut."

"Low blow, Fashionable Lad," Gold answers, though there's no venom behind it. "So what explains yours, then?"

Ruby runs the brush through the last of Exbo's unkempt fur. "Are you insinuating that my hair is anything less than perfect? I take great care in maintaining its quality."

"But what's the point if you're just gonna throw a hat on top of it and call it a day?" Gold wonders aloud. "If you're gonna put all that effort into a haircut, then throw the hat away. It's not like you need it."

The brush hitches in Exbo's fur.

"Course, it matches your 'ensemble' or whatever you wanna call it. But you'd look just fine without that cap, I bet. You don't need to hide behind it or anything."

Ruby doesn't realize that he's stopped brushing until Exbo murmurs a disappointed growl. He takes a breath, and begins passing the brush through Exbo's coat anew. There's an area matted with mud. Ruby frowns. He retrieves a water bottle and splashes water over the offending spot, before passing the brush through again, and after a few moments the muddy clump disappears from Exbo's back. Ruby continues brushing for another minute, until he decides Exbo's coat is at least minimally presentable. He still needs a bath, though.

"That's that, then," Ruby announces. He splashes some water over his own hands, then wipes them dry with a small towel. "If I had all of my equipment, I could do a better job, but at least Exbo looks more stylish than his trainer now."

"You can't ever claim to have the high ground on this one as long as you're wearing that ridiculous hat, Fashionable Lad."

"Times change, and styles change with them. When it's time to remove it, I'll do it," Ruby says, after a considering pause. He watches Exbo inspect his coat, pawing at a spot here, licking a spot there. Exbo makes a noise of approval, then looks at Ruby, satisfied.

Ruby returns the towel and brush to his backpack. "In the meantime, though, you really should trade in that sweater. It's irretrievably gauche."

"I know, right? Everyone says, 'oh my _gosh_ , that looks good on you.'"

Ruby scoffs. "I doubt it. Your sweater looks like an Electrode, and your shorts look like an Electabuzz, so I assume you couldn't decide which Pokémon you like better."

"You're just chock-full of analogies today, aren't you?"

"The least I can do is ensure you're not a walking fashion disaster the next time we get together."

Gold frowns.

"So, you should know that yellow's fine as an accent, but you're overusing it. And if you insist on sticking with red, make it darker. It'll bring out your eyes."

Gold opens his mouth.

"It wouldn't hurt to actually brush your hair once in a while, but that might be asking too much."

"You know, Fashionable Lad —"

A burst of wind blasts down from above, sending waves rippling across the grassy lawn and launching eddies of spiraling leaves into the air. Ruby is forced to guard his eyes with his arm.

"We're back!" Sapphire's distinctive drawl announces from above, over the whooshing of the wind buffeting the three of them. "Didja have fun goin' shoppin' or whatevah ya were doin'?"

Ruby can finally manage to turn his eyes up. Sapphire's already leapt down from Troppy's back, expertly landing on all fours like a cat. Behind her, Crys and SIlver are doing their best to help Emerald return to solid ground; he's still firmly attached to Troppy's back, in spite of — or more likely because of — his flapping sleeves and blocky platform shoes. Beside him, Gold's gotten to his feet, watching Crys and Silver with a half-smile on his face as they each reach for one of Emerald's real arms. Exbo turns around, and examines his now-airblasted fur in a huff.

Ruby faces Sapphire. "You have completely ruined what was once Exbo's pristine coat," Ruby informs her.

"Aw, boo hoo," Sapphire says with a wave of her hand. "It's jus' gonna git dirty all over again in ah couple ah hours."

"By that logic, why ever shower? On the other hand, that would certainly explain —"

"Don't even think about finishin' dat sentence, buster!"

"You let Ruby groom Exbo?" Emerald questions Gold. His feet — or platform shoes, at least — are finally back on land.

"Why not?" Gold shrugs. He pats Exbo on the head before recalling him. "If I didn't let him, Fashionable Lad would probably still be going on and on about how Exbo's fur was a catastrophe, an abomination, a bigger disaster than the Great Mud Bomb Incident of —"

"It _was_ ," Ruby insists.

"Anyway, this was way easier than having to listen to Fashionable Lad complain for the rest of the day."

"My complaints were completely justified," Ruby bristles.

Emerald looks like he wants to say something, but it's Sapphire who rolls her eyes and speaks. "Ya'd justify outlawin' mud if ya could."

"What's wrong with that?"

"'Cuz dat ain't possible, 'n ya should know dat."

"That doesn't mean we can't aspire to a world free of muck and dirt someday."

"Okay, we get it!" Emerald interrupts. "You two literally can't go a minute without bickering with each other, we know! Let's talk about something that even these two can't start arguing about!"

"Meteor Falls was good," Silver offers.

"It was worth the journey," Crys smiles, wonder sparkling in her eyes. "It's a cave, so you'd expect it to be dark, but the light streaming in from above reflects off the water quite beautifully. And I don't think I've ever seen clearer water. It's really quite breathtaking."

"The waterfalls were impressive," Silver adds.

"We even saw ah shiny Swablu right outside, 'n Crys caught it in a flash! Ya really shoulda seen it, Ruby!"

"I helped!" Emerald reports, proudly.

"Can't leave the capturing behind even on vacation, huh, Super Serious Gal?"

"It makes up for the time you sneezed and spooked that shiny Wooper."

Gold groans. "I said I was sorry, jeez! When are you gonna let that go?"

Crys evidently decides this debate isn't worth having, and changes topics. "So what did the two of you get up to?" she asks.

"Fashionable Lad insisted on going shopping, so I went along with him. And then afterward we got lunch — the Magnemite croquettes were really something else! You all should really try 'em!"

"That's all?" Emerald says. His eyes rove skeptically over Gold. "That seems… tame."

Gold shrugs. "Well, there's a lotta other stuff I'd rather do, but I wasn't leaving without trying the Magnemite croquettes, and it turned out you hafta battle for 'em. It took forever to convince Fashionable Lad."

Ruby nods, deciding to draft off of Gold's lie. "I wanted to go shopping —"

"And I didn't!" Gold chimes in.

"— so in the end, we did both," Ruby explains. "We managed just fine."

"So what'd ya buy?" Sapphire asks. "Prob'ly somethin' expensive and real frilly."

"Actually, no," Ruby replies, cooly. "They were having a sale on Pokémon dolls, so I picked a few up. And I have something for you, too."

"Fer me?"

"Here," Ruby announces, and holds the Torchic doll out to Sapphire. Sapphire seems surprised, taking the doll after a moment and considering it carefully, as if it’s booby-trapped. "It's not designed for the wilderness, so don't go drowning it in mud or anything," Ruby adds.

Sapphire growls. "Ya think I'd do somethin' like dat? I know howta keep my stuff in tip-top shape!" she barks, but her cheeks are pink.

Ruby tries not to notice. "And this one's for Emerald," he continues, retrieving the Treecko doll from his backpack. As soon as it touches the open air, Emerald's extendable arms have grabbed the doll and yanked it back toward him.

"Aw, how cute!" Crys coos. "It's a Treecko, isn't it?"

Emerald raises his head from examining the doll. "Where did you get these?" he asks, starry-eyed.

"Er, I don't actually remember the name of the store. But I'd know the place if I saw it," Ruby says, and at least the second part's not a lie.

"I've actually been looking all over for a Treecko doll," Emerald admits, clutching at the doll as if it was a cloud full of rain in the middle of a desert. "But they don't have 'em at the Battle Frontier or even at Lilycove. The only place I've ever seen one is the Mauville Game Corner."

Crys frowns. "Mauville City has a game corner?" she asks Emerald.

"Shit," Gold breathes.

Emerald nods. "Yeah. It's the only one in all of Hoenn."

Crys turns and stares Gold down. "You didn't take Ruby gambling, did you?"

"What? No way! I wouldn't do something like that!"

Crys arches her eyebrows.

"Okay, fair point," Gold concedes. "But just because I _could_ doesn't mean I _did_!"

Crys still looks unconvinced. Behind her, Silver looks like he wants to reach for a bag of popcorn.

"It would make sense, though," Emerald considers. "Since this is Gold we're talking about and all. It would explain where the dolls came from, too. Not that I mind."

"I mind," Crys declares, arms crossed. "It's your responsibility to set a good example for the others, Gold!" she admonishes him.

"What's wrong with being adventurous?"

"That's one way to rephrase it," Silver comments.

"And besides, I never said we went gambling in the first place!"

"Well, did you?" Crys presses.

"No! Nuh-uh, no way, no how, ab-so-lute-ly not," Gold protests. The statement of denial isn't all that convincing, and Gold's sudden preoccupation with fiddling with his hat is even less so. Ruby can't blame everyone for looking skeptical. For someone who bet against a casino and won, Gold's having an awfully difficult time bluffing.

Ruby takes a breath. Gold's going to owe him for this.

"It's true," Ruby speaks up. Ten eyes snap onto Ruby in surprise, and Gold's are the most surprised of them all. Ruby looks at each of them in turn. "We went shopping at my request, and ate lunch afterward."

"Is that really what happened?" Emerald asks, after a pause.

Ruby thinks over the rollercoaster ride Gold launched them on over the course of the day, a whirlwind of battling and gambling, casinos and croquettes, things that Ruby would have never dreamed of doing and yet would never dream of undoing.

"It is," Ruby decides. "We've been together the entire day, so I would know, wouldn't I?"

"Yeah, if you won't listen to me, at least listen to Fashionable Lad over here!" Gold finally manages. He lays an arm across Ruby's shoulders; Ruby grimaces and pushes it off. Gold tries again, but Ruby takes a step away and Gold's arm flaps uselessly in the air.

"…That's good to hear," Crys eventually says. "I suppose I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions."

Beside him, Gold breathes a barely audible sigh of relief.

"Anyway, dat don't matter none!" Sapphire pipes up, still cradling the Torchic doll in her arms. "I say we git some grub! I'm hungrier than a horde of Swalot!"

"Me too!" Emerald chimes in, eagerly. "Ooh, a bowl of pork ramen sounds delicious right now!"

"Well, we'll have to have an early dinner, then," Crys says, smiling. "Is there anything anybody wants in particular?"

“Pork ramen!” Emerald demands, again.

Ruby waves the question off. "Don't mind the two of us. After all, Gold-Senpai and I just ate."

The air is immediately gripped by silence.

"…What?" Ruby wonders. Everyone's faces have frozen in some combination of shock and surprise. The only exceptions are Silver, whose face of detached bemusement is probably what passes for his look of surprise, and Gold, whose grin is wider than Ruby's ever seen it, smug and teasing and proud all at the same time. Ruby feels the very distinctive sense of foreboding that he has come to associate with Gold and all of his chicanery.

Emerald's eyebrows have reached his gel-sustained hairline. "Did you just call Gold your senpai?"

Ruby pales. "No. Of course not."

"I ken hear Swellow calls from th' next city over, and I'm pretty shure ya jest did call 'im senpai," Sapphire retorts.

"I did not!" Ruby insists. His face is successfully completing the transition from white to red.

"Okay, out with it. What did you do this time, Gold?" Crys accuses Gold.

Gold's smile collapses in on itself. "Jeez, what's with the third-degree? I didn't do nothing!"

"Double negative," Silver points out.

"We just had a good time in Mauville, that's all!" Gold squawks, flapping his arms in protest. "It's only natural that Fashionable Lad would come to see me as a role model!"

"That's definitely not natural," Silver snarks.

"D'ya really think of Gold as yer senpai, Ruby?" Sapphire asks, pouncing on Ruby's discomfort, a teasing grin splashed across her face.

"No!" Ruby shrills.

Sapphire ignores him. "He's older than us, and he ain't half-bad at battlin', so dat part makes sense, but…"

"He's a delinquent," Emerald finishes.

"A bad influence," Crys supplies.

"An idiot," Silver states.

"I'm right here, guys," Gold mutters feebly.

"No, you've got this all wrong!" Ruby screeches. "He's not —!"

"Look, you don't have to pretend for our sake," Emerald says, joining in with a wicked smile. "If you see Gold as your senpai, I won't question it."

"I would," Silver interrupts.

"You _should_ , because I _don't_ ," Ruby insists. "His hair hasn't seen a brush in years and his clothes. Are. Hideous."

"Hey, what's wit' da criticizin'? Ya hafta show respect ta yer senpai!" Sapphire chastises him gleefully.

"You can't have it both ways, you know. No backsies!" Emerald teases.

"I wonder, what made ya start thinkin' of 'im as yer senpai? Is it 'cuz yer both from Johto?"

"Maybe it's the hair! If you grew out your bangs, I bet you could match your senpai's hairstyle perfect."

"We ken go off ta eat 'n leave the two ah ya alone if ya want!"

"That's a great idea, Sapphire! Johto's so far away. You should take advantage of seeing senpai in person!"

"Ya oughta show yer senpai around, Ruby! There's lots ta do in Hoenn. Ya gotta t'ank 'im fer bein' yer senpai!"

Ruby groans. He's never going to live this down.

Over the hubbub of Sapphire and Emerald's merciless cackling, Ruby glances up to witness Crys jabbing a finger at Gold and reading him the riot act, Silver looking on with an amused smile playing at his lips, Gold holding his hands up in surrender.

Gold catches Ruby's eye. He shoots Ruby a sheepish smile. Ruby manages a sheepish smile back.

Ruby still blames Gold for everything.

**Author's Note:**

> What's that? I'm using the Viz nicknames for Gold's Pokémon, but the Chuang Yi nicknames for Ruby's Pokémon? Oh that's funny haha my would you look at the time I have to go right now immediately


End file.
